In the last month or so I had a period where I felt things going into a bit of a tailspin. It is a cyclical thing where life just feels overwhelming, out of control, meaningless even. I spent almost a week feeling down in the dumps and like I was letting everyone around me down. I didn't know what to do "about it" so I just sat with it, really poking at it for a few days. By the end of the week I had come to accept some things about myself and life. I'll forget them and eventually, around some other corner, I'll meet the dip in the road again.
Well I haven't written very much this summer. I have been tumbling around in the whirlwind that is my new life. Ever since the jump into a new career I have been bouncing through many, many changes. I have been in a constant state of challenge both mentally and emotionally. I can't even really begin to articulate very much of it as much as I wish I could, to even myself. I am feeling very cloddish, in both tongue and mind. The new challenges in my life are invigorating as well as frustrating and frightening.
Here is my new favorite toy: an indoor rowing machine. I had never used one of these before and my trainer at the gym plopped me on it at the end of my workout for the day. I totally loved it, even though I was tired from lifting already. The rhythm of it felt very natural and relaxed even though I was working hard. It is a great all-around body workout and, at least for me, a very meditative movement - sort of a "rowing meditation" akin to walking meditation.